Anyone can go to a theater, watch a movie, then write about what they saw. It takes a special kind of reviewer to rewatch the movies that critics, and generally society at large, have deemed ‘flops.’ I feel it is my civic duty to assess these financially overblown and largely disappointing features, all for the greater good. I present to you a Revisiting of the cinematic masterpiece…

Godzilla – 1998
Starring – Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Hank Azaria, and Maria Pitillo

IMDb Rating – 4.6 out of 10
RottenTomatoes – 26% Freshness

“Going to see Godzilla at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter’s Basilica. It’s a rebuke to the faith that the building represents.” – Roger Ebert

While it may be true that Godzilla was not exactly Cannes-worthy, it’s hard to imagine that such a harmless film got such horrendous treatment. The reason I decided to revisit this film is because I had not seen it since I was eleven; obviously my tastes were limited then, and even as a child I hated it. Originally, I had planned to kick off the Revisited reviews with a much more massive film, but Godzilla, while perhaps not as polarizing as my first choice, is a good start.

I found the DVD, unwrapped and marked at a clearance price, amidst the expansive movie collection hiding under my TV. It was covered in dust, yet a single glowing eye peeked out, challenging me to give it a go. What I found in my viewing was that this movie was not nearly as bad as I recall.

The opening is actually kind of great, beginning with a montage of nuclear testing in French Polynesia as some very angry iguanas look on. The viewers are continually teased with small tidbits like this of what the monster terrorizing the eastern hemisphere might be. Like any Godzilla movie, this one contains just the right elements; trumped up “science,” bubbling humor, and destruction. Lots and lots of destruction. Even the acting is not horrible, and I attribute this mostly to the wide-eyed wonder of Matthew Broderick, whom many had claimed was miscast, but I consider him perfectly convincing as a nerd working for the fictional Nuclear Regulation Commission. I also cannot forget the startlingly awesome Jean Reno, who exhibits some commendable comedic chops.

What the Movie Has Going For It:
Decent Action – Why else would you watch a monster movie? You want to see buildings topple, boats and cars strewn around, and general mayhem. There is plenty in this flick.

Better Than Average Effects – Yes, it’s usually dark and rainy (probably to obscure what the CGI is lacking), but I’ve seen much worse. Try watching a Sci-Fi Original Picture sometime.

A Really Good Score – Seriously. This music in this movie is actually quite fantastic. There are plenty of moments that would be completely ridiculous, but were saved by the score. Also, the soundtrack, which doesn’t actually feature anything from the movie, contains some pretty hilarious additions from Green Day and Puff Daddy. I highly recommend that, even if you skip the movie itself.

Where the Movie Fails:
Lead “Heroine” – One word…vapid. And another one…bitch. She is just one of those characters who makes horrendous mistakes because of her own idiotic selfishness, and you just wish Godzilla would turn her into toe jam. How she ever managed to attract the intelligent (and yes, foxy) scientist is beyond me.

Cheesy Dialogue – I realize that this is a movie about a giant mutated iguana. Some of the dialogue is fairly funny, but much of it simply falls flat. I credit this to the attempts at New York humor and the unbelievably nebbish Mayor’s lust for public funds.

Yup, Plot Holes – Most of the time I’m rather forgiving in this area. But this film simply cannot allow me to do it. When I have forgotten about the last one, a new cavern opens up and threatens to swallow the movie whole. Godzilla’s a dude…but he’s pregnant! In a time of major crisis, when the entire city is being evacuated, apparently you can waltz into a corner pharmacy and purchase home pregnancy tests. You know, in case you were wondering.

Length – At over two hours, the movie drags at odd places, especially the end. There’s a point when we just want to see the monster pull a King Kong and get it over with.

Final Thoughts:
I’m actually glad I watched this movie again. The Jurassic Park franchise still rules in the big lizard category, and Cloverfield has claimed the spot of big-city-meets-monster chaos film. But for fans of the original Godzilla movies, this is surprisingly worth a watch.