So-called “normal people” have the preconception that people who try online dating are a.) weird and b.) socially inept. They believe these things because a.) sometimes this is true and b.) well, sometimes this is true, too.

But it’s not all bad. Some people don’t like to go to bars, or parties, or friends’ weddings in order to meet people. And you can’t just date that really hot Paladin on WoW for too long before people start wondering if your girlfriend is really a G.I.R.L.

It’s getting close to Valentine’s day, so I bring you my impressions of some nerdy online dating profiles, provided by one of the best, in my opinion, places to meet people online: OKCupid.com. I will not post any pictures or personal information, just trying to give you a sense of these dudes that have turned to a website in order to find love.

(Keep in mind that it’s difficult to distill a person into a few paragraphs, but these guys have given me some pretty good ammo.)

Underclockeduse -

Description:

I am a professional computer nerd who likes searching for non computer related things to do when I get home from work. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don’t. I enjoy photography, a lot. Recently I have also taken to hunting around my apartment for things to spray paint. So far my trash can and recycle bin have fallen victim.

What this says about him: He’s really, really bored. And he likes photography and vandalism.

Favorite Books, Movies, and Music:

The Harry Potter Series, the discworld series, Ender’s Game, The Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy….

Star Wars, Back to the future, Comic book movies, Kevin Smith movies, The Shawshank Redemption, Fallen, Stranger Then Fiction, Ghostbusters,…

Green Day, The Beatles, Nirvana, and a bunch of other stuff. My taste is in flux right now but I will always like those three.

What this says about him: The guy is into fantasy and science fiction, but he also has a sense of humor and the depth of character to appreciate good films and music.

Final Impression: Sounds like a good guy with a steady job, and fairly laid back.

Kresnik_42 –

Description:

yO! How to describe my self… I’m that little circle peg that doesn’t quite fit into the square hole. I enjoy learning, studying, DOING, and tasting life as much as possible. I’m quick to lend my hand or experience to those in need – both friends and complete strangers. I really enjoy learning about other cultures, languages, their customs.. and of course their food – presented in traditional manner, NOT Americanized! I love to think and act spontaneous: I don’t like to be dull and into the same routine every day. I don’t do well with Über structure; I need space to breath! I love video games, I have a huge collection but I am NOT a gamer – figure that one out.

What this says about him: yO! Don’t try to label him, man, because you’ll never figure him out! He’s too quick for you losers.

Favorites:

Books: Bible, Hagakure, Musashi: Go Rin No Sho, Sun Tzu: The Art of War and engineering, do-it-your-self and science related non-fiction.

Movies: Ghostdog, Mortal Kombat I, The Matrix, Kevin Smith Series:Clerks, Dogma, etc.; Terminator Series, and anything with Jacky Chan, Jet Li or Sho Kosugi.

Music: Sound Tracks: Mortal Kombat, Metroid, The Crow, Pulp Fiction (I’m a proud nerd! ), Dino Merlin, Rammstein, My Dying Bride, High and Mighty Color, Billy Idol and The Offspring.

Food: Traditional Chinese – most American/Chinese is disgusting to me – Thai, Japanese, Mexican, Indian, Taiwanese, Italian, Bosnian and Subway.

What this says about him: He’s not into American stuff, you imbeciles. He’s into Rammstein and Billy Effin’ Idol. He’s hardcore, he’s cultured, he’s judgemental.

Final Impression: Wow, what a douche.

Marc_1979 -

Description:

I’m a total nerd and proud of it. I like videogames, movies, anime, and cars. I enjoy these things when I’m not slaving away at work or trying to catch up on the sleep I missed because I was up until 3am watching adult swim on cartoon network.

What this says about him: He’s sort of shiftless and lonely. But he’s not afraid to embrace nerd-dom.

Favorites:

a) the star wars new jedi order series, anne rice’s vampire books, Michael Crighton, Trying out Xanth series now but haven’t gotten hooked yet so its slow going

b) children of men, kiss kiss bang bang, V for vendetta, super troopers, the 5th element, 12 monkeys, the professional (leon), star wars, fight club, wasabi, azumi, the game, 300

c) gorillaz, korn, anime soundtracks, videogame soundtracks, smashing pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails, Modest Mouse, Queen, David Bowie, oasis, garbage, live, white stripes, rammstein

d) Pizza, random fast food (No Onions!!!), good steak, chicken alfredo, pop tarts, salad as long as its got french dressing, chicken teriyaki

What this says about him: He has nice breath and likes Bruce Willis. Not much of a reader, but can get into a book now and again.

Final Impression: Doesn’t appear too passionate about anything (apart from hating onions), but might be nice to hang out with and watch movies. Any dude that likes Super Troopers can’t be all bad.

Next Time: The Ladies.