In a lot of ways, being a World of Warcraft warlock is like being the high school dweeb everyone likes to stuff in a locker. But instead of owning a software company, having dozens of hot dates on speed dial and occasionally bullying embittered Escort-driving classmates off the road with a Hummer, a WOW warlock becomes a dynamo of offensive and defensive magic, paired with familiars that would have put Gary Gygax in a permanent good mood.

My warlock Slobberknokr is at level 14 after about a week. In that time, I’ve come to learn valuable life lessons I will somehow be able to adapt for my nieces and nephews (“Ask mom and dad for help with a big bad spider”, “Never accept a PvP challenge from a kid who shaves”).

So for anyone who’s just getting into WOW as a warlock:

1. Stack spell damage correctly. If you place spells on enemies in the wrong order, one spell may replace the effects of another. So far I’ve been able to have four different spells deal damage on the same target at once. Curse of Agony, then Immolate, are great starters, and Drain Soul is a good finisher.

2. When you start, you’ll be poor as dirt. Get the idea of earning 1000 gold a week out of your head fast; in all my leveling up I haven’t earned (or had to earn) a single gold piece. The extra income you can get from First Aid and Cooking can add value to the tons of Linens and Stringy Wolf Meats you pick up everywhere. Sell your finished products in bulk (I really haven’t had much use in combat for Bandages, except once) as soon as you get them so you can get current armor and upgrade your spells and spell ranks. Undercity has both Cooking and Fishing trainers, and Brill has First Aid. Visits to the big U and Brill’s inn early in the game can help you boost your ranks by the time you’ll really need cash at level 15.

3. Steer with Fear. Fear may not work on undead you may run into around levels 6-8, but with a few damage over time spells you can load up a beastie with some hurt and then send it running away from you in a wide arc with a Fear on the snout. Most of the time, with an imp or better helping out, the enemy will take off in a large loopy path, the Fear will wear off, and the damage over time effects will drop it dead about ten feet away from you. While this setup may be a little roundabout and you may have to hoof it to harvest your kills, you’ll at least be able to save wear and tear on your degradable armor by not having to go hand-to-hand.

4. Retrieve your body by walking to it unless you were greatly overmatched when you died. The point early on is to avoid costly armor repairs, since practically all the armor you wear is so lousy it has endurance points. If you get into a downward spiral of getting killed because you had lousy spells because you got killed and had to repair the 25% item damage penalty, take some time to hunt a few weak monsters, get some items, repair your armor, upgrade one spell, and get back into the game.

5. Visit Undercity for solid armor. The outlying towns are pretty sparse in their selections.

6. If monsters start getting difficult in general, gauge your offense and defense capabilities, and upgrade a spell rank or get a new spell accordingly. Demon Skin 2 offers comfortable protection, no matter how chuddy your armor is, in all but the most extreme circumstances. And you’ll notice the difference immediately between a beefy, fight-picking Voidspawn and a fireball-tossing imp.

7. Try to replace equivalent or worse armor with pieces that don’t require repairs. The savings you can pile up when coming back from the grave on foot can often help you get off your dependence on breakable armor piece by piece.

8. Try to mop up your low-level quests all at once. You’ll need the XP for attempting higher-level ones. Don’t get tempted by the thrill of a new countryside and swag. Much.

9. If you’re nearing the next level, hunt a few monsters, level up, and then wrap up a few quests you’ve completed when you’re at the new level. One of the worst moments in my game was when I was about 25 XP away from leveling up… and I got 850 XP for defeating Maggot Eye. 825 XP, right down the drain.

10. Don’t be afraid to team up. If you’ve taken as many pains as you can to upgrade your character, and you’re putting up a really strong fight, but losing on your own, chances are good you can complete a quest with a little help from your friends.